Swimming in the North Sea
During the past few years, I’ve developed a tradition of engaging in some kind of cold water immersion experience on or near my birthday each year. This is why:
As I approached my 40th birthday, I felt a fear emerging in my soul that I had never felt before. It took me a little while to name it, but after a fair amount of reflection I was able to identify the culprit as the fear of a shrinking comfort zone.
My entire adult life I had been teaching and preaching about the value of expanding the boundaries of experience in which one feels safe, or at least safe enough, to try something new. To learn. To grow. But as I approached that milestone year, I noticed how little I was actually practicing what I preach. One of my favorite ice-breaker questions when I am working with groups is, “When was the last time you did something for the first time?” Go ahead, try it out…what’s your answer?
As I write this I am sitting on a train from Edinburgh, Scotland to Yarm, England. Yesterday I swam in the North Sea for the first time. It is December 12th, 2021 and it is quite chilly outside. It was invigorating to say the least! As this train rolls southward on its track, I reminisce about the last time I was on this continent. I was 26 years old and traveling alone. I had been working for 4 years as a wilderness instructor to save up for the trip. During that time, I spent nearly 1000 days and nights paddling canoes in Florida with teenagers who had been deemed ‘ungovernable’ at home and school. Prior to that I had backpacked around New Zealand and Australia for six months. I had hiked the famous Overland Trek and the Freycinet Peninsula in Tasmania. I had hitchhiked the Great Ocean Road to Bells Beach. I financed most of this by working as a carnie in Melbourne, Adelaide, and Hobart. Suffice to say, my comfort zone was freaking huge!
You could plop me into almost any situation and I would feel confident that I could figure it out. Even more, I would seek out circumstances that pushed me to my limits and allowed me to test assumptions about who I was and what I was capable of. Fast forward just 10 years and I was now working from home, gaining weight, hiking and camping less, wrestling with various addictions, and spending 8-10 hours a day in front of a screen. I would plan climbing days with friends and bail at the last minute. While I had a wide variety of excuses, the sad truth is that fear was beginning to take hold. I didn’t want to step into the unknown. The nest I had built for myself was just so damn comfortable.
Then something amazing happened…I was laid off! Prior to that moment, my career trajectory was nothing but smooth sailing. One job led seamlessly to another and I had never for a moment worried about abstract concepts like job security or ‘the future.’ Then POOF…It was all gone. I had no cushion, no savings to speak of, I had a wife and child who depended on me. We were a single income family. It shook me to my core. All of a sudden I was in a situation that pushed me to my limits and allowed me to test assumptions about who I was and what I was capable of…and I hated it!
What happened next is long story that is best saved for another post, but what is relevant here is that I absolutely had to regain my comfort with being uncomfortable. Part of this journey involved cold water immersion. When most people look at a freezing cold body of water (or cold shower) they are absolutely repelled by the idea of jumping in. This is perfectly logical. I imagine they feel similarly about the idea of losing their job or attempting to start their own consulting business. I sure did. So I needed to train myself to deal with this feeling and being paralyzed by fear was just not an option. I jumped in.
I took advantage of every opportunity to face the fear of being immersed in icy cold water. I needed to. It was a powerful metaphor for my life. If I could overcome this fear, then maybe I could deal with all the other ones. Fear of failure, fear of success, fear of asking for help, fear of not living up to the expectations of others, fear of change, fear of trying something new, and so many more. Now whenever I come upon a situation or opportunity that might be otherwise smothered by the specter of self-doubt. I jump in. While it may hurt a little and it is always quite shocking, I always emerge. Usually unscathed and often even better than before I took the plunge.
Air Temperature = 48 / Water Temp = 45
My fear of a shrinking comfort zone is still there. For me, this is the crux move of aging gracefully. Every year on (or near) my birthday I create an experience to remind myself that I am capable of overcoming fear. When my brain is muddled by fear and anxiety, I override that system and just go for it. I’m not going to die. I’m going to live…fully and in the moment. It’s intense and, in some strange way, it’s wonderful. When was the last time I did something for the first time? Yesterday, I swam in the North Sea…and I lived to tell the tale.